A stay-at-home dad is still not an acceptable role in the social unconscious . An article by Bonnie Rochman does a great job suming up the challenges faced by Stay-at-home Dads. In the 8 years I have now been a Stay-at-home Dad, my marriage has gone from difficult to extremely strained. The word “Divorce” has found its way into almost every argument. For all those men considering staying home and letting your wife be the bread-winner, think very hard! I made the choice because it was the best one at the time for our family financially. I didn’t take into consideration the long-term psychological ramifications of my choice. Its result, a very deep, protracted depression. But depression is just the symptom of a more complex social choice I unknowingly made. Men, on a very deep unconscious level, need to work. And Society on that same level expects us to work. We identify ourselves with our work. How masculine being a fire-fighter, a construction worker, an office manager! Even jobs one might have previously thought unacceptable like a sanitation worker take on a greater relative value when one has no job outside of the home. I love my kids. What I have learned has indeed been priceless. Yet no amount of caring for them has ever replaced the social value assigned to a traditional masculine job or any job.
Unemplyed Men Are More Likely to Divorce
Bonnie Rochman http://www.health.time.com/2011/07/11/unemployed-men-are-more-likely-to-devorce/ note: The address is correct but will not link.
July 11, 2011 at 8:30 am – Once upon a time, men worked,
women didn’t and that appeared to be the equation for a harmonious family life.
Now, new research shows how much that truism has changed for women but stayed
the same for men. While attitudes about women working have evolved considerably,
social pressure on men to be breadwinners is still strong, according to the study,
which was published in a recent issue of the American Journal of Sociology.
The study shows that unemployment, more than unhappiness in the relationship,
predicts divorce —at least for men. “It’s still unacceptable for men to stay
home and take care of the kids,” says Liana Sayer, an associate professor of
sociology at Ohio State University and lead author of the study. MORE: Having
a Bad Job Is Worse Than No Job For Mental Health Sayer found that a woman who
was very unhappy in her marriage was more likely to begin divorce proceedings
if she was working than if she was unemployed. Whether or not a woman worked
had no bearing on the chance that her husband would leave the relationship,
however. Unemployed men, on the other hand, faced a double-whammy: they stood
a greater chance that their wife would leave them and that they would choose
to leave —even if they were fairly satisfied with their relationship.